52 Comments
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Bru-Bru's avatar

Definitely ashamed of being horny on a Sunday

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

Naturally

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Betsey McQuarrie's avatar

I find tears running down my face as I read this. How oppressed I've been and how insidious it is that I didn't know this 30 years ago! I just thought nobody wanted to see that--to see me. So I denied myself, my sexiness, my desires, and my humanness, and now, here I am at 60--alone and empty. So empty because sex was for able-bodied people, but not for me. I held myself apart and oppressed, and I blamed it all on society. Now I see I could have adjusted those negative thoughts into my favor, and maybe not have made my life so lonely.

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

Hello Betsey, I am so sorry for everything you’ve been through, please know you have my heart and I’m 100% here for you. Also, I can tell you have a wonderful soul and there are so many people out there would who be lucky to have you in their lives. Yes, mistakes might have been made but please don’t close yourself up to opportunities for companionship, age really IS just a number. You’re beautiful, inside and out, and worthy of everything you desire. Have a wonderful day 🫀

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Betsey McQuarrie's avatar

Thank you.

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e:e's avatar

Such an important conversation. It’s like I’m haunted by this Puritan American concept where enjoying sex will get me branded for life !

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Kacie's avatar

oh my god this is what Substack needs more of. As someone that's managed to normalise this growing up I'm so happy to see it being talked about without being blurred out or 'cautiously typed'

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yaz's avatar

so good it destroyed my virgin ego x

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

mine too

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HANNAH's avatar

I LOVED this . I needed to hear this

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

I’m so glad!

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jamie's avatar

well, this was poetic as hell.

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

‘twas the plan! thank you!

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esther's avatar

Deliciously immaculate

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

thank you!

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Lexy Raven's avatar

your writing is hauntingly beautiful, thank you for this piece! (it was such a good read that now im considering diving into something similar for a poem or some musings...)

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

you do that!

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cats & giraffes's avatar

okay now I'm really contradicting and conflicting myself. it's always been like that with self-sexual pleasure, and I. I get that, I get what you're saying. my socialisation and upbringing truly did me a number; I have abundant unlearning to do, and the perception of sexual pleasure is a complex one for me. and I don't feel any better after reading this. I do feel horny, thou (kinda); idk how to feel!!

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Paige Hagy's avatar

This was lovely and heart wrenching. I’m so glad I stumbled across your writing in my feed

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M🌙's avatar

This is so beautifully written I don’t even know what specifically to highlight because it all stands out🫶🏼

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

thank you so Mel

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ella jade's avatar

need this reminder EVERY day!!!

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

Paste it somewhere, it’s one hundred percent yours!

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Efua's avatar

My God … this was a masterpiece. Thank you 🥹 I resonates so deeply with this 🥰

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iray's avatar

this fills me with an odd sense of contentment. thank you, i needed to read this. 💌

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Hamish Bryson's avatar

nah im gonna read this when I’m chaste and proud. Cus I’m a rule breaker

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